Today, we’re discussing the common lies that all narcissists tell in some form. If you’ve ever been involved with a narcissist, you’ve likely heard at least a few of these if not all. Understanding these lies isn’t just about venting frustration though that can be an important part of healing. It’s about validation. It’s about finally making sense of things that may have confused you for a long time and realizing that you’re not alone. There’s an entire community of people who have experienced the pain of being in relationships with narcissists. Now, let’s break down the lies.
Number 1. “You can be vulnerable with me.”
A narcissist may tell you directly that it’s safe to open up to them. They may encourage you to share your feelings, experiences, and struggles. However, if you’re dealing with a narcissist, this is not true. While vulnerability should be a normal and healthy part of relationships, narcissists use this to their advantage. They might make you feel comfortable, ask you questions, and even share their own stories to lower your guard. But ultimately, any vulnerability you share can be used against you.
Number 2. “You can rely on me.”
They may say, “I’ve got your back,” but the truth is, a narcissist primarily looks out for themselves. They might help you when it’s convenient for them or when they can benefit from it, but when you truly need them, they disappear. Worse yet, they can turn against you, spreading rumors or actively trying to harm you. If you trusted them and later realized they were never truly there for you, understand that it’s not your fault it’s part of their manipulation.
Number 3. “It’s not my fault.”
A narcissist will never take genuine responsibility for their actions. Even if they appear to admit fault, it’s often for something minor or unrelated to the real issue. They excel at justifying their behavior, shifting blame, and making excuses that seem reasonable to outsiders. If you’ve been around a narcissist long enough, you’ll recognize the pattern and how frustrating it is to see them constantly dodge accountability.
Number 4. “It will get better.”
If you’ve been involved with a narcissist, you know this isn’t true. Things never improve they only get worse. They may engage in “future faking,” promising everything you want in order to keep you hooked. If you’re in a romantic relationship, they might dangle the idea of marriage or children. In the workplace, they might hint at a promotion or raise. But these promises are just bait to keep you from walking away.
Number 5. “I’m the most honest person you’ll ever meet.”
This one is deceptive because genuinely honest people don’t need to declare their honesty. At first, you may believe them, but over time, their dishonesty becomes clear. Even if they avoid outright lies, narcissists are experts at omitting crucial information to serve their interests. They might manipulate situations by withholding details that would change your perspective or decisions. This form of deception lies of omission is a tactic they frequently use.
Number 6. “I’m going to change.”
A narcissist will only say this when they need something from you. If they’ve discarded you and are trying to win you back, they’ll promise to be better to go to therapy, be kinder, or make more effort. However, once they get what they want, nothing changes. If you’ve been in this cycle before, you know how painfully false this promise is.
Number 7. “I love you.”
This one is particularly heartbreaking. Narcissists struggle with emotional empathy, which makes true love difficult for them. Their lack of empathy also allows them to hurt you without remorse. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How could someone who claims to love me be so cruel?” the answer lies in their emotional deficiency. They can turn affection into hatred in an instant because their love is not real in the way you expect it to be.
Number 8. “You’re worthless.”
This is an outright lie, but one that many victims of narcissistic abuse start to believe. After years of manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional torment, it’s easy to lose your sense of self-worth. If you’re struggling with this, know that it’s not the truth. Rebuilding your confidence and healing takes time, but you are not worthless. You are not alone, and there is a path forward.
Healing from a narcissistic relationship is a journey, but recognizing these lies is the first step. Stay strong, seek support, and remember you deserve better.
