The Narcissist will never admit it but you were different. You weren’t just another person they could manipulate and discard. No, you saw through them and when they pushed you too far, you did what most people never do: you walked away. But here is what they do not want you to know.
Narcissists think about you every single day because you’re the one who got away, and it drives them insane. They pretend like they do not care, like they have moved on effortlessly, but the truth is much darker behind closed doors. Narcissists are doing things every single day that prove they’re still obsessed with you. They cannot forget you. They cannot let you go. And deep down they know it.
So, the topic for today’s article is seven things a narcissist does every day because they lost you.
Number 1: They try Convincing Themselves They Never Cared.
Trying to convince themselves they never cared classic gaslighting. One of the greatest ironies of a narcissist is this: the more they insist they don’t care, the more they actually do. Because whatever they claim, whatever they tell you, the truth is the opposite of that. They tell people, “Oh I can barely remember him or her, they were never important, ” or act as if you weren’t even around. They act as if your time together was just a passing period, something trivial.
So if that were the case why are they still talking about you? Why are they stalking you? The truth is they are pissed off they couldn’t break you. The attempt to make you crawl begging back to them has backfired and they are thoroughly pissed off that someone like you that they had under their thumb, could leave. The absolute worst: they cannot say this.
Irrespective of their feelings, they end up convincing themselves that you didn’t mean anything and repeat it so often that they actually come to believe it. But you can read in their actions exactly the opposite.. If you didn’t mean anything at all what keeps them talking so much crap about you? What makes them still trying to prove a point and slag you off? Why do they still perceve you as the lower human being?
If someone really doesn’t matter to you one bit you wouldn’t bother to think about them and for sure would not bother to bring their name up; his obsession is reflected in his reactions to you and absence from his life, he just can’t understand how you are enjoying without him. In their delusional mind, they thought you had to survive through them, butthat’snot true.
You were already on your own for everything. You were your own companion, your own crisis counselor, sometimes even your own bill payer, and alone, that is reason to kill them.
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Number 2: Trying to Replace You.
Sorry try to replace you, it never works. As soon as you are gone, the narcissist jumps into another relationship. The one they’d been working on for weeks months whatever.
But they’lll flood your social media sites with pictures of their new love, flaunting their perfect new marriage posting pictures of their wedding ring, their all that bullshit. But you know, that is just a show for outsiders.
Maybe it feels more like, “Oh, they’ve moved on easily, ” but In reality, she’s actually freaking out inside because no matter what, no one can fill your shoes and the narcissist knows it. Narcissist does not move on to better, a narcissist moves on to easier. The narcissist moves on to a more docile individual whoas if this is unexpectedhas not seen through the new supply.
Their new supply is not an upgrade. It is a downgrade, someone they manage, unchallenged.
I’m not comparing them with you and saying, ‘No you are better than them. I’ll be first you.’ Not at all. What I’m implying is they have to working to bring them away. Maybe the new supply has not been heal enough to see in and out of the narcissist facade.
The crazy part is: although they are desperately trying to prove to the world that they are happy, they simply cannot get you out of their heads. And as before, you are healing, you are growing, and you are becoming so much more than they could have ever imagined. You have something they never will. I said it so many times are real internal strength and independence that realization kills them.
Number 3: Stalking You Despite Being Blocked.
They stalk you even if you have blocked them. Look if you have blocked them everywhere or on as many social media sites as possible, the narcissist will continue to stalk you. They make dummy accounts, they have friends ask questions for them, or they don’t think and run into you. They will be dying to see if you’re still suffering without them.
But what happens when they see you laughing, flourishing and truly happy in your life? Oh, dear. They’re toast. For in their mind, they they were supposed to be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Or at least that’s what their delusional, crazy narcissistic brain wants you to believe. The mere fact that you could heal, that you could do better and become even more unbeatable without their presence is simply unbearable to their fragile ego.
That is Because of this why the greatest revenge against a narcissist is to live well. Believe me, I have tried it.
The more you succeed, the more they think of themselves as an utter failure. Your happiness is the rush of choking without oxygen for them. Several times, they tried to crush you, but they couldn’t. And that stills the hair of their bodies.
Although it seem as if they have forgotten you, they still crave to see you every night. They still want to be with their pathetic soul.
Number 4: Rewriting History to Play the Victim.
Rewriting history to paint themselves as the victim has become a common practice of a narcissist. As a rule of thumb, he/she will never take responsibility for whatever reason you left. That would mean they have to confess they weren’t as strong as they have always made people believe. They will not do it. Instead, they will spin the story in a whole new light.
They will change the past. If people hear the story from them, it will go like: “Oh, she was a little nutty. ” or “They just left even though she was giving him everything. ” It is victim playing and truth twisting all over again.
At least, the narcissist does not think of it as a game or lying but rather taking their side to defend their character. That is called the more you do your name damaging, the more the narcissist gets scared of you.
All along, in the depth of their soul, they knew their action and they were aware that people seeing the truth would lead to them losing face. That is why they get so carried away by warping reality that would only serve to hide the truth behind the fragility of their self-image, a false image, of course. In our case, we and the narcissist know it all very well. We see the whole thing as damage control.
Number 5: Fake Coincidences to Test Control.
They hoover you with false coincidencesHave you ever got a random message from them after going NC for months? Which might say, ‘Just saw something and thought of you’, Typical, ‘Hope you are well’, or something cryptic, that sounds so strange like, ‘been meaning to reach out for a while’. Why does this happen? This isn’t love. This isn’t regret. It’s a game.
They don’t miss you. They misscontrnext. They’re trying to see if they can still reel you in. They do not even mind being wronged. They only want some benediction to the effect that they still count for something in your life. No matter what you’ve done, it has not been enough.
They are a bottomless pit and nothing will ever fill them. And I’m saying it because you cannot comb nany of that. Were wereAttempts? You must interpret this as a confession coming from that narsissist. But what do they confessing? That they are weak.
That because they want to know your life status they are in control of their own life. Narcs cannot avanzar; they are stuck. They are more dependent than you ever were on them.
And they can’t prove it to their selves. So they will try to contact you just out of the blue, leading you to believe something like “Yup, they’re just trying to hook up with us in a casual way” or “Oh snap, they just SMSed you by accident because they really wanted to SMS somebody else, ” and it’s a way to lure you back into their web and to hurt you again.
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Number 6: Self-Destruction After the Breakup.
When you break up with a narcissist, you’re not just breaking upyou are causing a narcissistic injury. Narcissistic injury: a wound so horrible that even every distraction, every real relationship, every phony confidence can’t mask the pain.
They can deceive the world, Yet they cannot deceive you, so begin to make careless choices: end relationships, lose jobs, ruin friendships.
Because now they are the ones plagued by rage. They spiral downward into their own collapse because for the first time they have to hang out with their own emptiness and somebody has called them on something, someones seen through them, someones left them.
They have met a truth teller, and they can’t stand the fire the intensity, the heat they experience without you to blow their misery onto, They have to confront themselves.
And let me tell you this: their biggest fear is something they cannot manage. And that is confirmed by a narcissist I had a session with a long time ago. He was a self-aware narcissist, and he told me he had a breakthrough when he was left alonewhen he was abandonedwhen he was on his own in a darkroom, sitting without any source of supply.
That was when he found out he was the cause of it all along. And what came of that? I knowI can say that because I am a witness, nothing.
Just like a tiger needs to see his stripes to believe it. But now that he has seen his reflection, he just knows. And the knowing is completely useless in my opinion.
This holds true for every narcissist who believes they know the truth of their life. They burn in the fires they build while forever measuring your life to theirs. When they notice you mastering yourself, when they see you move on, when they see you healthey die again.
As a narcissist they lack a sense of own being. They have to compare themselves to someone to see if they are doing better. If there is no-one to compare themselves they experience a total loss of ego identity. They lose sight of the self. And that causes a huge breakdown.
Number 7: Never Forgetting You.
Finally The last thing is they really won’t forget ever. One thing is a narcissist will never really forget you.
Like you didn’t love them? But they will never really remember you since you were one of a kind. And as you know by now, they cannot get rid of their anger because they could not be on the top in their own game. They will always hold a grudge about you because of the way they have been hurt by you.
I hope now this message is really clear to you as to where and what a narcissist wants in this relation with you. In case you would like to get rid of that and get back your life, I mean, just leave the energetic connection and wish them farewell. But still they will try to get close as long as they are attached to you and thinking about you,
No, it is not because a part of them feels missing but it is them feeling defeated. So what do they want to do? They would like to win back, and the ways are by first discrediting you and then finally breaking you down!
What you must not do is give them another chance. Because if you do so, it’s you who will feel lost forever with that.
Read More: Why did the narcissist BREAK UP with you?
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